My Reinvention personal project is about women who reinvent themselves midlife. Becoming a photographer in my 30s completely changed my life… for the way better…and I wanted to encourage people to never feel it’s never too late…we’re only going around once! I’ve had the pleasure of knowing Melissa Weinstock for around 5 years and have watched her go through a complete transformation from working at lululemon next door to our studio to owning her own fabulous athleisure brand, grace+GRIT. She also handled breast cancer with an incredible level of grace (and grit!). I was so interested to know more about how she handled these two major events while also being a mom of three teens…and what’s next now that she’s come out the other side. Please enjoy our interview below and enjoy some photos from our shoot where she brought her daughter, Sylvie, to model some of her grace+GRIT wear!

Make-up: Nicole Moleti Wardrobe: grace+GRIT.

Tell us how you reinvented yourself.

Right out of college I had a hard-core dream job as a business consultant, and then I shifted to stay-at-home-mom after having my second baby. After baby #3, I started a non-profit with two of my best friends, and when baby #1 went off to college two years ago, I ultimately fulfilled my dream of opening my own store. It wasn’t as seamless as those two sentences, but I can honestly say that it was a lot about being vulnerable and surrounding myself with smart, strong and good people.

I like to move and grow and honestly, I never want to stop. When I didn’t even realize I was itching, I was offered a job by lululemon before they opened in West Hartford Center. The job fell into my lap- literally when I was grocery shopping and met the soon-to-be store manager. (There’s a lesson right there- ALWAYS BE OPEN!) I loved working again- it was the beginning of my reinvention and incredibly refreshing to be pushed out of my comfort zone. The job was so much more than selling stretchy pants and lit a fire within me- I had to set one, five and ten year goals, take initiative to do things I had no idea how to do, and follow the lead of inspiring women twenty years my junior. I fell in love with retail and was literally evaluated on how much yoga I was practicing, so I, of course, fell in love with that too.

Fast forward three years and I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I was determined to keep working and made it through two chemo treatments, but my depleted immune system simply couldn’t handle the holiday season in West Hartford’s hottest store. I stopped working but yoga continued to be my saving ‘grace’ and helped me through my biggest battle to date, which I’m happy to say is fully behind me.

Add two more years and I take a magical yoga class with Kim Charboneau, co-owner of The Yoga Shop. Afterwards, we chat over granola, and I confide that I miss working. She asks me, on the spot, to open my own athletic wear boutique inside the West Hartford studio. I was terrified, yet bursting with excitement- that feeling when you know you have to go for it… that’s reinvention, right?

READ MORE OF OUR INTERVIEW HERE

What did it take for you to make grace+GRIT a reality?  Were you ever afraid to do something this big?

It might sound hokey, but it took a lot of grace and an extraordinary amount of grit. I opened my store three months after Kim first proposed the idea. At lululemon, the boxes of inventory just arrived, all coordinated, tagged and logged into their system. To launch grace+GRIT, I started from square one- literally scouring Home Depot for pipes and wood and cold-calling a contractor to transform these materials into store fixtures. I traveled to NYC to shop showrooms and bought with my gut. I worked on a logo and branding, bought tons of hangers and pricetags, and learned about POS systems, inventory management, sales tax and finance, which anyone who knows me, will tell you is not my strongpoint.

What was my strongpoint though, was surrounding myself with strong, smart and inspiring women! My inclination is to focus on perfecting the details but there wasn’t time. I was supposed to open January 1st, but Annie Q, co-owner of The Yoga Shop, took one look at the inventory that I was building and said I would be crazy to wait, pushing me instead to open in December. ‘But my bags won’t be ready in time’ I pleaded, but she was right so I opened early. Holly Anderson and Ashley Bellemare, dear lululemon friends, were also critical to my success- launching my social media, organizing my inventory, merchandising and anything else I needed. And then more amazing women appeared- MaryKate Doyle and Laura Keever, owners of WIP Fitness, reached out when they heard my story and asked how we could collaborate. It started with a trunk show, and now I have a store inside their gym in Canton. And my daughter, Sylvie is an integral part of grace+GRIT- she’s come on buying trips, models my clothing, helps with social media and now regularly works in my West Hartford store.

Yes, I was afraid and continue to be afraid, but that fear is how I know I am reinventing. I still have a note hanging in my office (let’s be real, it’s my guestroom at home) that says ‘grace+GRIT- you can do it’ which I wrote to myself during that crazy time. I can do it, I did do it, and I’m still doing it! My husband, Randy was super encouraging and supportive and continues to ask ‘what’s the worst thing that could happen?’ He invested in me and keeps me focused and balanced, much like yoga does.

I’m curious how connected having breast cancer and launching grace+GRIT are? Are there two reinventions – a personal and a professional or are they all intertwined?  

I don’t think I would have had the courage or drive to open grace+GRIT without having gone through breast cancer- I certainly wouldn’t have had the store name! It’s weird to say, but cancer gave me the courage and motivation to live big and not wait for the perfect time to reinvent. Cancer sucks beyond belief and I was really lucky that mine was caught early. With that said, it was a wake-up call that I am in charge of my life and that life is a precious gift. If I always dreamed of opening a store, it was time to stop dreaming and just do it. I used to be afraid to fail, but really, who cares? I opened four stores in two short years and already closed two. Five years ago, I never would have been able to admit so publicly that I was in over my head and couldn’t do it.

Cancer truly taught me to live big, and yoga solidified the message. I kept a journal during my treatment and one of my favorite pages is where I jotted down a quote from Kim’s class that ‘surrendering is not collapsing.’ That’s how I would sum up my cancer. I had to surrender to things beyond my control, but I did not give up for one second and I soaked up as much good as I could. Did I feel sorry for myself? Of course, but I was so damn lucky and it could have been so much worse. I never lost sight of that and will always be grateful.

Has it been more or less challenging than you thought it would be?  What are some challenges you encountered and how did you overcome them?

It’s been so much harder than I ever expected. I thought it was going to be part-time thing I did on the side, but owning your own business is 24/7 and can easily take over every waking moment. I am learning as I go, and I keep on learning. Much of those learnings have come from making mistakes, and I’ve made a lot of them. I tried to be entrepreneurial at first and therefore, I said yes too often and grew way too fast. One of our favorite family quotes is ‘It’s not how far you fall, it’s how high you bounce.’ And bounce I did. For me, it meant having difficult conversations and changing gears efficiently, while standing up for what was best for me personally and professionally. It’s a fine balance of giving yourself enough time to build but not losing your overall vision. Currently, my biggest challenge is inventory management so I am working on a more detailed business plan to improve my buying and hopefully, sales patterns. I take a lot of deep breaths and trust myself that if I am open and honest in all I do, things will work out. Grace and grit, right?

How do you see or approach life differently after breast cancer?  For you, is it in the past now or very present?  

Having breast cancer is part of my story, but it doesn’t define me and thankfully is now behind me. My hair grew back and the details have faded, but I’d be lying if I said it doesn’t permeate my present. It makes me feel strong- I got through it, and with love and support, it taught me that I can get through anything.

Positive thinking is powerful.  Prayers are powerful.  Love is powerful.  I knew all these things, but being on the receiving end of them when you are fighting cancer is life altering.   The love and support truly filled me up and carried me through.  The silver lining of cancer, or any setback for that matter, is that what isn’t critical in your life falls away, and you’re left with what’s really important.  It sounds cliche, but it was a huge wake up call for me.  Everyone is crazy busy these days and I personally used the words ‘crazy’ and ‘busy’ way too much before cancer.  My life is still really full, but nowadays I’m trying to not use those two words and just enjoy the ride.  

What advice do you have for friends and family “trying to help” – both a new entrepreneur launching a business and someone fighting cancer or having a personal struggle.

Starting your own business requires the same grace+GRIT that fighting a disease does. And the advice I give to anyone having a personal struggle is this:

Be positive, be grateful, surround yourself with love, say yes when someone offers to help and you need it, and maybe most importantly, help others in any way you can.  Every time I helped someone else, I felt so much better- something as simple as stopping to let someone cross traffic, sending a card, baking a challah, or making a donation.  Pay it forward.  Every step of the way, I try to give back.  Feeling sorry for yourself does only one thing- it makes you feel sorry for yourself.  I did at times, everyone does.  Losing my hair hit me like a ton of bricks- but being miserable about it, truly only made me feel worse.  I tried to find joy in everything I could, like the fact that my showers were really short and I could get ready faster than my husband.

There’s practical advice too. Get a journal and write everything in it. Keep cards and notes of support. Don’t stop moving- get fresh air every day and exercise, even if it means slowing down significantly. And most importantly, early detection and ultrasound saved me. Don’t skip those appointments EVER, and hold your loved ones accountable too.

grace+GRIT already has such a great brand in such a short amount of time.  Is the name personal to you, because that’s probably how I would describe you?

Thank you for that ultimate compliment. ‘Grace and Grit’ was my mantra when I needed it most- I really, really hate needles and medical procedures so literally, as the IVs were placed, chemo dripped, and MRIs administered, they were the words that I repeated over and over again in my head. And honestly, it helped.

For me, it was about positivity, strength and just being my best every day, no matter what that looked like. Only later did I realize that this mantra would carry me through literally anything including opening my own store. I genuinely can’t think of a situation where a little grace and a little grit doesn’t make a difference- think really challenging yoga poses, sticky parenting dilemmas, lofty goals, scary news, awkward conversations and the list goes on and on.

How do you feel about your reinvention(s) today?

I feel good and I’m excited about what’s next. I want to take grace+GRIT to the next level and I know that means more than selling stretchy pants. Retail is hard, as everyone will tell you, but I need to be creative and reinvent what that means in the age of 24/7 online shopping. I created ‘mantra gear’ with the grace+GRIT logo and tagline ‘You Got This’ and am donating a percentage of sales to Dana Farber Cancer Institute where I was treated. This year is also about building an online presence linked to social media. The future is bright and I’m going to keep bouncing for sure!

What have you learned about yourself?

I can do hard things. I’m strong. Failure won’t kill me. What’s the worst that can happen, right? Life isn’t always perfect- it’s messy and I try not to gloss over that. Life is a beautiful gift and I want to live big. It’s not always easy, but every day is a new opportunity for living well and being grateful. And a little grace+GRIT always helps.